Louise, The Dogs And The Words

MLM? What's that I hear you cry?  MLM stands for multi-level marketing which is like a pyramid selling scheme but for legal reasons is definitely not a pyramid scheme despite the fact it operates in pretty much the same way as a pyramid scheme. The only difference is rather than it offer you a promise of profit if you recruit people, it gives you physical products to sell with the promise of more profit if you recruit people to also sell said products. See the difference? It's very subtle. But how do they work? They're usually easy to spot as they're selling products that are too good to be true. Want to be thin? Want a new you? Detox? Beauty products you've never heard of? Perfume that smells like Jean Paul Gaultier but isn't quite as expensive? This is for you!  The premise is you sign up for a package of products to market.  You can host parties, sell from the catalogue or harass your friends into buying. If you're lucky they'll buy your

My tummy hurts, my ear is sore I don't want to go to school no more I know enough, I'm clever, me I want to stay at home you see My leg is aching, I need a poo I don't need school, I'll stay with you I'm feeling sick, don't make me go I'll miss you mum. I miss you so I want to stay at home and play I'll go to school another day

High in the stars the sun's path round the sun Signals the end of a year and the beginning of one Humans chose the date on which it would start And hold it close and deep in their hearts It's a date that our ancestors plucked from the sky We tell ourselves this year will be my year to try And do all the things I've always intended Yet the list's always there when the year has ended But with every new day we can start anew Don't wait for January the first to be your best you Happy New Year x 

I've been listening to and enjoying Phil and Ben's Don't Lets Chart for ages so when I was asked to be involved I jumped at the chance. If you haven't heard it it's essentially two men in their late 30s trying to make sense of the world using charts as a framework. It is silly, funny and contains more ALF than you'll have heard in a long time. If you want to hear my actual voice you can listen to it via  this link .

I'm all Brexitted out. It was a bad idea to start with and now I'm just sick of it. I think this is the general consensus among the population.  As a result I've come up with the following proposal. Proposal: creation of Brexit In The Bin Party. Main policy points: noone is allowed to mention Brexit again ever. As a result the party upon election will be renamed In The Bin Party. Other words that are banned are Remainers, Leavers, Remoaners, Brexshitters and any other derivation of. All policies on international economics to be decided by actual experts in the field. Referendums are to be used solely for naming boats (Boaty McBoatface was a fine name for a boat), tv talent shows and Facebook "is this called a bread roll or a teacake?" memes. If experts decide financially we should stay in the EU we will take it seriously and vote for people in to change it how we want. No we don't want an EU army, we like our pound coins and we want to control our own

The leaves swayed gently to the ground Autumn was calling again  Calling to the trees Declaring loudly   That it was time Time to lose that magnificent coat of green Time to change to oranges and reds And finally Time to remove remove it completely  To let the bare branches  Feel the cool crisp air of Winter