Louise, The Dogs And The Words

4264 weeks. That's it. That's your average lifespan; assuming you are blessed with an average one. I heard this fact last week and it terrified, yet motivated me. Because here I am counting down the weeks until the next holiday. Living, yet wishing my life away. It's no way to live. Something needs to change.  4624 weeks. What can I achieve with what's left? Finding the answer to that is the next challenge.

Now I'm not one for astrology, the belief that everyone born on the same day will have the same thing happen to them, is frankly nonsense. However, I've made a conscious decision to start turning my life around and today has seen some developments.  I checked my horoscope on a whim on www.horoscope.co.uk and this is what it said: "24 March 2025 At the same time that the Moon is helping to get the new working week off to a positive start across the income, work and career fronts, there is growing support and focus on the playful and creative part of your chart. ... With this professional year just starting to find its feet, it is time to put some guardrails in place when it comes to a balance between work and play." Interesting that today has marked the first meeting with a career coach to talk about how I want to concentrate on my creative abilities and develop a better work/life balance to meet my goals. It is just a coincidence but I'm definitely going to invoke...

I close my eyes, the stillness envelopes me like a silent friend Holding me tight  Calming my mind Through the darkness colours emerge, dancing round in my head Plasma rainbows Pulsating and rotating The quiet calms me, I hear nothing but my breath and my pulse Rhythmic beating And gentle breaths Guiding me to a state of calmness and peace.

A tired week of constant demand Has left me exhausted  I continue on, desperate to rest But still I am exhausted  My body aches My brain it screams My eyes are heavy I need to rest I need to stop  I try to sleep but I lay awake For I am too Exhausted 

Yesterday I was at a pond and a child (not mine) suggested that said pond was covered with a mesh "to stop the water from jumping out."  I'm 99% sure that child has never watched the film The Abyss, but that's what I pictured. How I wish it was true. There's something magical about a child's imagination. Maybe the child had just seen Moana and thought it was a documentary?  There was no heart of the pond lurking beneath as the pond dipping commenced. Just a rather discombobulated looking newt and some frogspawn. 

As I sit here, alone in a quiet room I feel guilty, guilty that I need the quiet. I sound all day in a noisy environment, then at home I have two chatty children keen to discuss their day and my partner who also likes to talk. So at night I like to sit, in silence and just enjoy the peace. But I can't help feel guilty that I've spent all day longing for the quiet. In fact, I wish I'd made more of the noisy times. Life is strange like that. You always crave something you don't have.