Louise, The Dogs And The Words

Hi Readers Something you might not know about me is I'm a 100% genuine trained psychic. I trained at the Keighley Mysterious School Of Magic And Psychicness which is definitely a real place and not somewhere I've just made up.  With that in mind here are the horoscopes for the week ahead. Love and psychic kisses, y our friend Mystic Louise x Aries:  March 21 – April 19 The squirrel you believe has been eyeing you up will finally make its move today. Watch your nuts. Taurus:  April 20 – May 20 Be wary round cacti this week. They are spiky little bastards and they're out to get you. Gemini:  May 21 – June 20 All your dreams will come true this week. So you'd best hope you don't have the one about being naked in the exam room again. Cancer:  June 21 – July 22 A good looking stranger will cross your path this week. They'll also make you cross. And be wearing a cross. And be eating cress. Leo:  July 23 – August 22 The song "Remember Yo...

I've been going to the same dentist since I was a child. Recently I learned that the practice has been bought out. My dentist is still the same one but the name has changed and the building has been renovated. Here's my diary of today's visit (because writing distracts me from dental anxiety)! 10.25am - I arrive outside the dentist after one embarrassingly unsuccessful attempt to reverse park. I check the clock. I am 25 minutes early as per usual. I get out my phone and mess about with some apps then decide to write a poem. I'm early for the dentist I'm sat here in my car Panicking about the plaque And all of the tartar That may very well be building Up around my gums I really hate the dentist Why do I have to come? I hope my teeth are ok And I don't need a filling Or something worse which may involve Far more extravagant billing I'm going to go in now And wait inside the place I'll meet you at the other side Hopefu...