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The Music Corridor

My old school got demolished yesterday. It's been rebuilt, all shiny and new with steel and cladding in lieu of plywood and asbestos. They even demolished the old part - Haggas Hall - which quite frankly should have been listed. This, however, is not the history I feel most sad to lose. Deep within the school was a special place, a place I felt at home after I'd been the most confused and lost I'd ever been. Strap in, you're about to hear a mental health story… In 1995/6 I missed 6 months of school when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I remember it very vividly, I was sat on a table in Mrs Sweeney’s classroom down by the PE rooms, next to the exit to the all weather pitch (famously known as the pitch that was crap in all weather). One minute I felt fine, the next I felt dizzy, panicked and unwell. I had caught a virus which subsequently went on to deplete my stores of serotonin. Goodbye happy. Hello depression. I withdrew into myself, hiding in my be...
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Lost

Throughout my adult life I've never known what I wanted to do. I've had jobs I've enjoyed and been good at but they've never been my true passion, I've never really known what my true passion was. Then I held my 7lb 3oz baby in my arms.  Life suddenly made a lot more sense. Caring for this little person was something I enjoyed and was good at. So I had another.  I was good at it the second time round too. Now my younger baby is 4, in September she starts school and I am heartbroken, the only job I've ever excelled at is being stolen from me by a primary school. I know I'll still be mummy but my precious daytime hours, spent at parks, making things, learning about wildlife and general exploring will be replaced with housework (as I'll have no excuse not to do it now) and dog walking. Things are about to change and I'm scared. Scared I'll miss it terribly, scared it might affect my mental health, scared I'll miss it so much I think anothe...
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School Run Musings

We've all seen her. That mum who looks like she's fallen off vogue magazine. She looks amazing, the embodiment of grace and calm. Then there's me. I look like I should still be in bed. An Ode To The Glamorous Mum Oh glamorous mother at the school gates How I wish I could be just like you But I'm sat here in sweatpants with messy hair And a great big hole in my shoe I envy your make up and how you found the time While I rushed around ushering my brood Into the kitchen, swearing under my breath While trying to ply them with food I look like I've fallen straight into my clothes As I rolled with no grace from my bed While you're freshly turned out and you look like you've fallen Straight from a catwalk instead Tell me your secrets oh glamorous mum How I desperately want to be you But I just can't find the time needed to preen I guess that I'll just have to do
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