All Hail The Bedtime Ninja

I always imagined bedtimes with children to be a beautiful bonding experience; a story, a lullabye and smiles as they delicately drift off to dreamland. Then I had children.

Initially bedtime was something I just dreamed about. Somehow despite watching a shed load of Supernanny prior to breeding I still ended up cosleeping,  at one point with four of us in a super king sized bed. We only managed to get them into their own beds by swapping bedrooms one night. They've now got the lovely purple room that goes with our  bedding and we're in a wonderfully clashing yellow room.

Nowadays bedtime is more like a scene from a post apocalyptic nightmare. Two kids running wild refusing all reasonable commands until you eventually wrestle them into their bedclothes and threaten to feed their supper to the dogs. It's tied with the school run as my least favourite time of day. When I do finally get them to sleep after cuddling the little one to sleep (bog off Supernanny it would be tons easier with someone else's kids) I then have to commence the stressful silent obstacle course that is their bedroom, which is how this next poem was born.

All hail the bedtime ninja

Whose agility and prowess knows no bounds

Like a silent gymnast

Avoiding obstacles

Gracefully tiptoeing across the floor

Towards the golden promised light

Of the landing

Creeping softly through the creaking bedroom door

All the while holding your breath

And trying not to wake

The sleeping babe within