Shattered

Today my energy has disappeared. It's the result of a week and a half of stress, I think a list might be easiest at this point:

1. A bathroom pipe leaked, spilled all over the floor and started leaking through the ceiling into the kitchen (Simon fixed it the same night but not until we'd done number 2 in the list).
2. Two anxious doggies needed their inoculations so we spent ages at the vet getting it sorted with two overexcited children.
3. A few days later my car broke. Coolant was pouring out of the bottom of the car so I had no vehicle for a while which was problematic due to 4, 5, 6 and 7 in the list).
4. My car broke on shopping day! I had very little food in the house. My parents came over the following day to take me to aldi so I could feed us all.
5. I then had to be up at school the same day with the youngest for her first transition day to full time school (MUST. NOT. CRY). My parents dropped me up and I did get sponge and custard so it wasn't all bad. I then chose to walk back home, in a UK heatwave. I almost melted.
6. The same day I had to be back up at school an  hour and a half later for the eldest's end of year play. It was very cute, they sang Count On Me by Bruno Mars (MUST. NOT. CRY)
7. The following day, still car-less I had to be up at school for the eldest's Great Learner Award. Luckily I have a great bunch of friends and who all help each other out as needed so I had a lift.
8. The weekend was spent holding an inspection lamp watching Simon fix my car - he's very good at fixing things, which is fortunate, as the designer of the Rav-4 seems to have designed an elaborate game of hide and seek when it comes to replacing the water pump.

   

   It's in there somewhere 

9. With my car finally fixed it's business as usual until my lunchtime drive home from the nursery school run. In front of me I see an old man crossing the road, he stumbles, falls into the road and isn't moving. I pull over, put my hazards on and run over, as does the driver in front. He stays with him and rings and ambulance while I jog 50 metres down the road to the doctor's surgery for help. He was breathing and trying to move so hopefully he'll be alright but there's no way to find out as I have no idea who he was.
10. Now it's Thursday and both of my children are coughing. They are fine really but it worries me as a few years ago my youngest was particularly wheezy and ended up being nebulised and needing to go to hospital. Ever since the sound of coughing sets me to panic mode and triggers my health anxiety (a subject I'll no doubt come back to in my blog at some point).

So here I am, writing a disjointed blog post to try and calm myself after a week and a half of stress. My house is a tip but I'm too tired to deal with it now. I think the phrase is "I've run out of spoons" (assuming stress and anxiety falls under this theory). The problem I have is I've never been good at winding down and being a stay at home mum I've always felt guilty just relaxing at home, probably because it's my (unpaid) workplace. I always feel like I should be doing something and that by just sitting I'm being lazy. 

Therein lies the problem. I should take time for my mental health, we all should. It is important. So everyone, remember take time to go have a cuppa, breathe deeply and relax. And don't feel bad for taking some time to yourself, you deserve it.